Coming to my second part… before I move on, I would just like to make a 3 points clear (based on the comments)…
(1) I am not getting married anytime soon… Neither love nor arranged… I just wrote it randomly…
(2) I tried to be as neutral as possible. And I am not an expert in this field… I’m not supporting arranged or love marriage. Only thing my points supporting love marriage are short. This is because it’s quite self explanatory. It is easy to understand.
(3) Regarding the “forced love” part. I got a MSN message asking me to explain it clearly. Actually it is quite true. You can take any random guy and put him with a girl. Eventually they will fall in love. You have to wake up and face the same person everyday. You will have no choice. Most people’s adaptive mechanism will allow them to do so. If you think that is not true, then how do you explain the survival of arranged marriage in India for years and years? And how will you explain the difficulty to maintain long distance relationships? The only thing can be argued might be the quality of “love” formed. That 1 I am not sure.
Now… Coming to my second part
ISSUES INVOLVING FAMILY
This is one of the main arguments in India supporting arranged marriage. It brings 2 families closer together when compared to love marriage. This is because the family involves in terms of selecting partners. So the “role” of the family will be higher in a marriage relationship. From my personal experience I did notice that families are closer in an arranged marriage compared to a love marriage. They will tend to be like relatives and most instances they are. However of course, there is higher tendency to be involved in fights as well. In which, both families don’t agree on some matters. This will affect the marriage relationship extremely badly. In love marriage, the tendency to be involved in a fight is lower.
Another point is also regarding convenience. In a love marriage, you need approval of parents. In an arranged marriage, you will not need approval. So it is easy in an arranged marriage.
The interference of parents and other family members tends to be higher in an arranged marriage compared to love marriage. This can be good or bad… Good in the sense that; small matters can be resolved by the advice of parents. Bad in the sense that; even small matters might be turned into big ones with the wrong advice by parents.
ISSUES INVOLVING COMMUNITY
Another point that is being argued in favour of arranged marriage in India, it helps to protect culture. The major point that is being put forward was about sex before marriage. Well, at personal point of view, I don’t think it is wrong. However I understand most people in Asia will feel it is wrong. So, in general, arranged marriage will help to prevent this better than a love marriage. I understand this is a sensitive point especially among Asians. I am not saying in a love marriage, there will be always sex before marriage. In fact most won’t have. However if 90% of love marriage have no sex before marriage, in an arranged marriage it will be 99%.
Whatever said and done about arranged marriage, one point remains. The fact that it is created to promote caste and racism and still it is serving its function until today. There is no doubt about it. All the other points favouring arranged marriage are just to cover up its main function. This is the main reason why 96% of marriages in India are still based on arranged marriage. So quite naturally Indians will favour arranged marriage compared to love marriage. In general, if an Indian guy in India (especially from traditional families) wants to get married to a girl of different caste or different race, he has to go against his family and society. The feeling of caste is still very strong among Indians. In fact, a girl/guy from a different caste will not make much difference compared to a girl/guy from different race.
I am speculating however I am not exactly sure… I think arranged marriage prevents good mix of genetic pool. Most of the time, the partner is going to be some kind of distant relatives. However I am not sure what the consequences are if there is no proper mix of the genetic pool.
CONCLUSION
So in terms of…
(a) the couple: I don’t think there is any difference whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. However if there is a difference, I think it will go in favour of love marriage. This is mainly because it promotes personal understanding and you will be able to resolve conflicts better. Moreover you will live with the person because you wished to rather than you have to.
(b) The family: the involvement of family in an arranged marriage will be more. However whether it is for the good or bad, it is up to the individuals.
(c) The community: Hmm… a bit controversial… but then arranged marriage promote caste system and racism… however I have no idea whether there is any detrimental effects on the community or not.
So in general, whether a love or arranged marriage, at last I think the success of the marriage will depend on the individuals involved. And those of you in love, you guys have to acknowledge that after marriage, a lot of other stresses will come in, and you guys definitely need coping skills. Being in a love marriage doesn’t mean you can close one eye…
(ps: none of the parts in this article I am referring to myself. So, I don’t have those restrictions. From the way I am going, if I get married, my parents will be more than happy. So, be it you are a Malay/Chinese/Indian/Caucasian or especially an Arabic from Melbourne, don’t rule me out :P )
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Arranged marriage versus love marriage (Part 1)
Well… Last time when we all sit together and talk, we will talk about what to do in life or basically talk crap… Nowadays a big topic is actually about marriage… Not surprising since I am already 24. However, still a lot of my friends find the concept of “arranged marriage” as weird and in a negative manner. So I just decided to write the pros and cons of both arranged marriage and love marriage. I tried to be as neutral as possible.
Before I continue with the pros and cons, I would just like to write about where this concept of arranged marriage came from. Initially, arranged marriage is introduced to prevent marriage of a person outside the community or caste (among Indians). It is mainly practiced by the upper caste before the lower caste practiced it for the same reason. Arranged marriage is basically a marriage arranged by someone else other than the couple. That “someone” can be family members, matrimonial sites or an agent. The couple will not know each other very well before marriage and it bypass the concept of courtship. An important distinction to be made is arranged marriage is not equivalent to forced marriage. Arranged marriage still requires mutual consent of both parties.
I am going to discuss these issues in 3 areas. One issues involving the couple itself. Second, issues involving the family. Third, issues involving the community.
ISSUES FOR THE COUPLE
To start off with, I think one of the pros for concept of “love” is it provides a relationship before marriage which the “arranged” concept doesn’t provide. From what I can gather from my friends, mostly appreciate their relationships even if they didn’t last. I think these are the following reasons for this.
(a) Relationship before marriage provides “sweet” time together. I am not sure what my friends exactly mean when they tell me this however I can see that they really enjoy the time when they were together. Some of the Indian elders will say that “That is not real life”. However I think it is good to have the sweet time even if it doesn’t last. The way I see it is if you have those wonderful time for 2 years, basically you enjoyed at least 2% of your lifetime.
(b) Even if the relationship doesn’t last, it leaves meaningful memories. E.g. I was talking to my friend about her ex-boyfriend. At the end of the conversation she said “I am glad he is doing well”. From the way she said it, I think she misses him. These are wonderful emotional experience to have which defines life. The memories are going to last forever.
(c) Relationship too provides experience. It is true I think. If you have more experience, you will be able to know how to resolve conflicts better. You will be able to analyze a break-up and be self critical. Experience counts in everything. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect.
My second point is convenience. I think this is the major plus point for the concept of
“arranged”. It is so simple. You don’t need to make any effort to find a partner. And no matter how bloody low demand you are (e.g. me :P), you will still be able to find one. Moreover it is easier to cross-over from arranged to love but the other way around it is almost impossible. I will illustrate this point with an example of comparing myself with kok foong. Both of us are 24, medical students and fortunately or unfortunately low in demand. I came from a culture which mainly based on the “arranged concept” while kok foong is from the “love concept”
(a) For me, if I don’t find a girl by the age of 30 and I want to get married, it is not a huge problem. I can just say “Papa, help me to find 1 girl”. Everything can be settled within 6 months. On the other hand if I find a girl, it is not a huge problem. Because the arranged concept is moving from parents saying “I am the one who is going to find a girl for you” to parents saying “If you don’t find one, I will find one for you”
(b) However for Kok Foong, if he cannot find a girl he doesn’t have the luxury to ask his papa to find one for him. So, just imagine what the poor soul can do…
So, basically it is possible to cross from “arranged” to “love. The other way around it is going to be impossible.
The concept of “love” does provide time for personal understanding. People can get to know each other very well. Moreover it offers a time when you can break up if you think things are not working out and avoid divorce. Surely the concept of arranged doesn’t provide this time. However in certain cultures now they allow the couple to go out for a few months to see whether they can develop the understanding needed. However this point surely favours love marriages.
On the other hand, arranged marriages provides better match in general if you take out the personal understanding component. Two clear examples will be in terms of age and social status. This is because when a person in love, he or she will tend to be idealistic in terms of thinking. What they think can be compromised before marriage might become a huge problem.
(a) Age. If a young guy marries a girl who is older than him, it will give some problems. One is because of sexual drive. A guy’s sexual drive will still be high when he is 40 while for a girl, her sexual drive will drop by the time she reaches 35. So, IDEALLY there is a need for the guy to be older than the girl at least by 3 to 4 years. Arranged marriage provides this gap while most often a love marriage will not provide it. Of course this can be overcome by discipline from the guys’ side. However I am talking in general population level.
(b) Social status. This will be a huge problem especially when the girls are more educated or earns more than the guy. Because whatever said and done about women’s achievements, it has been a tradition for 5000 years for the guy’s side to protect the girls. So there will be some kind of male ego from the guy’s side and in the female’s side they will expect protection from the guys. Arranged marriage will always ensure this is well matched while love marriage doesn’t necessarily ensure this. (However I feel that this applies mainly to the Asian society)
This point is what I THINK… I think a drawback for love marriage is the
tendency to have high expectations after marriage. This is because the time frame when people will fall in love is usually during uni time. At this time you will tend to put up your best personality. It is something like going for a job’s interview. Where you will take the time and the effort to make sure your partner is happy and your relationship is healthy. Moreover you have less responsibilities and more time. However things do change after marriage where you will have work tension, children and lots more problems to think about. Love marriage predisposes a person to have high expectations at this period of time. Where as, arranged marriage usually takes place once people are settled with their jobs and things like that. So in general, expectations will be lower. Of course it can be resolved with proper time management and coping skills but it is easier to be said than done.
A lot of people feel that arranged marriage forces two people to fall in love with each other. Actually I don’t see it as such a bad idea. This is because if you put two people together, no matter how mismatched they are, usually they will tend to find a common ground and way to love each other and try to be happy. It is an adaptive mechanism. As long as they are happy, who cares how they are happy.
One major point that is supporting arranged marriage is its lower divorce rate compared to love marriage. However I think the comparison is not fair if you take world wide. This is because the divorce rate is mainly higher in the Western society where women are more independent and can afford a divorce. Where as in
However the concept of love does leads to affair. I am not saying that couples in arranged marriage are not predisposed to affairs. However the basis of an affair I think is “love” or at least “crush”. The arranged concept doesn’t link a 40years old married man with a 20 years old girl. But the concept of love does link both of them (it doesn’t matter whether the man had a love or arranged marriage).
Although I have made the distinction between arranged marriage and forced marriage, however, arranged marriage does predispose to forced marriage. Forced marriage is not necessarily is like what you see in the Indian movies where the girl will be locked in her room and stuffs like that… It can be much more subtle where in the form of advice and things like that.
(Issues involving family and community + my conclusion I will write in the second part)Friday, October 17, 2008
Are we really thinking?
I just watched the third debate between Obama and McCain. At this point I really wondered. Are we Malaysians really thinking or are we just following people.
If you look at the debate, both candidates had to explain on not only what they wanted to do. However they had to explain how they are going to do it. E.g. improving their healthcare plan. Both candidates had to explain how they were going to do it. It is extremely easy to say that they want to improve healthcare. Explaining how they were going to do it weren't easy.
If you look at Malaysian politics they just explain what they want to do and all of these are what we already knew and what all of us want. It can be the government or the opposition, none of them explain how they are going to do them. These are the few issues
(a) Reducing corruption. Well how do you want to do it? Increase pay? Or how? Nothing is explained
(b) Creating equality among Malaysians. Especially among races. Well if you take the opportunities and wealth, the size of the pie is going to be the same. Thus, if they want to give the non-bumis more they have to take it from the bumis. So what dato seri anwar ibrahim claims simply doesn't add up. I felt all his speeches had the style but no particular concrete ideas to solve the problem.
(c) Abolishing ISA. I do respect human rights. However what are the consequences of abolishing this act? How to handle them? We can't just support the abolishment just because it sounds good.
These are just my thoughts.
Ganesh
If you look at the debate, both candidates had to explain on not only what they wanted to do. However they had to explain how they are going to do it. E.g. improving their healthcare plan. Both candidates had to explain how they were going to do it. It is extremely easy to say that they want to improve healthcare. Explaining how they were going to do it weren't easy.
If you look at Malaysian politics they just explain what they want to do and all of these are what we already knew and what all of us want. It can be the government or the opposition, none of them explain how they are going to do them. These are the few issues
(a) Reducing corruption. Well how do you want to do it? Increase pay? Or how? Nothing is explained
(b) Creating equality among Malaysians. Especially among races. Well if you take the opportunities and wealth, the size of the pie is going to be the same. Thus, if they want to give the non-bumis more they have to take it from the bumis. So what dato seri anwar ibrahim claims simply doesn't add up. I felt all his speeches had the style but no particular concrete ideas to solve the problem.
(c) Abolishing ISA. I do respect human rights. However what are the consequences of abolishing this act? How to handle them? We can't just support the abolishment just because it sounds good.
These are just my thoughts.
Ganesh
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Shah Rukh Khan Datukship
I was more than shocked when I saw Shah Rukh Khan was awarded the title "datuk". The reason given was even more shocking. 1 2 ka 4 was shot at 2001 and because of that there is increased number of tourists in Malacca? Assuming the state government has some knowledge in statistics, is it statistically significant? Well, what about all the hardwork by various people to promote tourism in Malacca? Even if there is increase in tourists, what Shah Rukh Khan has to do with it? Most likely it is due to the promotion rather than anything else.
If he doesn't turn up for the award ceremony it is going to be absolutely embarassing for the country. Nobody can blame him if he doesn't turn up. He is paid by the hour and I don't see the reason he should come to a foreign country to accept a title that he doesn't understand about. Most probably I think that he will not understand himself why he is offered a datukship.
I am not sure if I have different opinion from other people however I remember Malacca state government protested when a virus is named after Malacca because they thought it was an insult. Naming a virus after all the hard scientific research; was called an "insult" to Malacca. Now, they are proud awarding a Datukship to an Indian actor? It just does not make sense to me. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.
If he doesn't turn up for the award ceremony it is going to be absolutely embarassing for the country. Nobody can blame him if he doesn't turn up. He is paid by the hour and I don't see the reason he should come to a foreign country to accept a title that he doesn't understand about. Most probably I think that he will not understand himself why he is offered a datukship.
I am not sure if I have different opinion from other people however I remember Malacca state government protested when a virus is named after Malacca because they thought it was an insult. Naming a virus after all the hard scientific research; was called an "insult" to Malacca. Now, they are proud awarding a Datukship to an Indian actor? It just does not make sense to me. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Malaysians Are Not What They Preach
Generally I don't think Malaysians are what they preach. I will illustrate what I meant by giving examples...
A lot of us claim that we have reached racial harmony. However I beg to differ. We have made progress for sure, however we are still quite far behind. I will use one example. When the UMNO chief division officer made a racial comment, what did we see? "Ahmad made a racial comment" or a "Malay made a racial comment"? I think most of us saw "A Malay made a racial comment". That is why a lot of us thought that apologies from Dr.Najib is appropriate although some leaders mentioned it was not needed. I would not say it is not appropriate but it was not needed. If Ahmad made a comment, he should be responsible. Not other Malay leaders or Malays in general. If you say he is from UMNO, so it is fair for a UMNO senior to apologize, then Ahmad is in Barisan too. Why not expect Chinese and Indian leaders to apologize on his behalf as well?
A lot of us claim that we are religious and our moral values are high. Are we really that religious and have high moral values? Yes, as many of my friends will know I am going to talk about Dr. Chua Soi Lek. When a poll was taken at that time, 99% of Malaysians felt at that time he should step down. Although I don't like some of his policies, I heard he is a good leader and the doctors inTaiping Hospital were really pleased with the way he was leading theministry. It was such a shame to see such a good leader had to step down for such a trivial issue. If he had an affair, that has nothing to do with an average Malaysian. He only need to apologize to his wife and his family. If his wife wants to take to the court, then it is up to her and it is perfectly fine. However a lot of us at that time said he is morally incorrect so he is not fit to be a leader. However I hope you will see the difference in 2 situations.
(a) What happened: He came to us. He apologised to us. We weren't willing to forgive
Morality and religion have thought us to forgive people who have remorse after a mistake. Did we?
(b) What could have happened: He could have denied any involvement. He could have said "It is not me. If you want, you can try to prove otherwise"
What could have we done? Morality and religion have thought us to fight injustice. If he had lied, that is an injustice. How many of us would have really fought him? barely any of us. A lot of times where there was an injustice and the person had no remorse of what he had done, none of us fought him. So, what is the conclusion? If I made a mistake and apologized to you, you will not forgive me. However if I use my power and repress you, you will not do anything to me. That is what morality and religion taught us? So are we really morally and religiously right?
A lot of Malaysian Indians claim that we are not given the opportunity so we are not progressing. Well, what is the truth? Are we really not given the opportunity or we are just pointing finger at other people to hide our own inadequacies? If we compare the chinese and Indians in Malaysia, the Chinese are way forward in terms of economics. However, the Chinese who came to Malaya intially were not rich. From that time until now they are not given more opportunity than Indians. So how they reached the level they are in now? Persistent hardwork and trial&error. Indians didn't do it. If you just sit down and wait for the government to help you, then when will you improve? Are Indians any where as hardworking as the Chinese? I don't think so. Please don't give 1 or 2 successful Indians as examples. I am talking about in general terms. Not the top 10% of population e.g. Anandakrishnan's success is AN Indian's success; NOT Indian's success in general. Moreover if you say Indians are not given the opportunity, let me ask the 2001 SPM holders. The government guarenteed us a scholarship if we obtained straight 1As. How many of us worked hard for it? Only a handful. It's quite easy to get straight 1As. None of us put in the effort. So, when given the opportunity, you didn't take it. Who are you going to blame? the government or yourself? If you put in effort and you missed by 1 subject, then it's understandable if you blame others. However most of us didn't put in the effort. I don't really like to talk about 1 race problem. However I am an Indian. So it is alright if I talk about it. A chinese and a malay will not be able to talk about it.
I think this is my point of view. All of us have to work hard to be a better person. It is easier to be said than done. However what is important in my point of view is we have to agree that we are not perfect and we have to agree to work towards excellency and the opportunity will come.
A lot of us claim that we have reached racial harmony. However I beg to differ. We have made progress for sure, however we are still quite far behind. I will use one example. When the UMNO chief division officer made a racial comment, what did we see? "Ahmad made a racial comment" or a "Malay made a racial comment"? I think most of us saw "A Malay made a racial comment". That is why a lot of us thought that apologies from Dr.Najib is appropriate although some leaders mentioned it was not needed. I would not say it is not appropriate but it was not needed. If Ahmad made a comment, he should be responsible. Not other Malay leaders or Malays in general. If you say he is from UMNO, so it is fair for a UMNO senior to apologize, then Ahmad is in Barisan too. Why not expect Chinese and Indian leaders to apologize on his behalf as well?
A lot of us claim that we are religious and our moral values are high. Are we really that religious and have high moral values? Yes, as many of my friends will know I am going to talk about Dr. Chua Soi Lek. When a poll was taken at that time, 99% of Malaysians felt at that time he should step down. Although I don't like some of his policies, I heard he is a good leader and the doctors inTaiping Hospital were really pleased with the way he was leading theministry. It was such a shame to see such a good leader had to step down for such a trivial issue. If he had an affair, that has nothing to do with an average Malaysian. He only need to apologize to his wife and his family. If his wife wants to take to the court, then it is up to her and it is perfectly fine. However a lot of us at that time said he is morally incorrect so he is not fit to be a leader. However I hope you will see the difference in 2 situations.
(a) What happened: He came to us. He apologised to us. We weren't willing to forgive
Morality and religion have thought us to forgive people who have remorse after a mistake. Did we?
(b) What could have happened: He could have denied any involvement. He could have said "It is not me. If you want, you can try to prove otherwise"
What could have we done? Morality and religion have thought us to fight injustice. If he had lied, that is an injustice. How many of us would have really fought him? barely any of us. A lot of times where there was an injustice and the person had no remorse of what he had done, none of us fought him. So, what is the conclusion? If I made a mistake and apologized to you, you will not forgive me. However if I use my power and repress you, you will not do anything to me. That is what morality and religion taught us? So are we really morally and religiously right?
A lot of Malaysian Indians claim that we are not given the opportunity so we are not progressing. Well, what is the truth? Are we really not given the opportunity or we are just pointing finger at other people to hide our own inadequacies? If we compare the chinese and Indians in Malaysia, the Chinese are way forward in terms of economics. However, the Chinese who came to Malaya intially were not rich. From that time until now they are not given more opportunity than Indians. So how they reached the level they are in now? Persistent hardwork and trial&error. Indians didn't do it. If you just sit down and wait for the government to help you, then when will you improve? Are Indians any where as hardworking as the Chinese? I don't think so. Please don't give 1 or 2 successful Indians as examples. I am talking about in general terms. Not the top 10% of population e.g. Anandakrishnan's success is AN Indian's success; NOT Indian's success in general. Moreover if you say Indians are not given the opportunity, let me ask the 2001 SPM holders. The government guarenteed us a scholarship if we obtained straight 1As. How many of us worked hard for it? Only a handful. It's quite easy to get straight 1As. None of us put in the effort. So, when given the opportunity, you didn't take it. Who are you going to blame? the government or yourself? If you put in effort and you missed by 1 subject, then it's understandable if you blame others. However most of us didn't put in the effort. I don't really like to talk about 1 race problem. However I am an Indian. So it is alright if I talk about it. A chinese and a malay will not be able to talk about it.
I think this is my point of view. All of us have to work hard to be a better person. It is easier to be said than done. However what is important in my point of view is we have to agree that we are not perfect and we have to agree to work towards excellency and the opportunity will come.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Highest paid jobs
Hey guys... I came across this article... Surprisingly the highest paid job in USA is surgeon or doctor (if you consider them together). i thought it supposed to be CEOs, actors or athletes. However it's said that the number of CEOs, actors or athletes who are earning in millions are only a handful; most of them don't earn as much. However in general terms, doctors are paid the most. Even higher than airline pilots and lawyers. 1 more shocking thing is podiatrist earn only a bit less than an airline pilot.
However there is some problem with counting the salary of an acturist. Because they have to get through a lot of exams after they graduate. So there were some problems. So they did not make into the list. Otherwise i think they should be one of the highest paid individuals.
However the one that has the most capacity to earn are not doctors. If you are an investment banker or a CEO you can earn up to millions (considering you don't have any special talent e.g. acting or stuffs like that)
Any guesses on the highest paid medical speciality? :D
Ganesh
However there is some problem with counting the salary of an acturist. Because they have to get through a lot of exams after they graduate. So there were some problems. So they did not make into the list. Otherwise i think they should be one of the highest paid individuals.
However the one that has the most capacity to earn are not doctors. If you are an investment banker or a CEO you can earn up to millions (considering you don't have any special talent e.g. acting or stuffs like that)
Any guesses on the highest paid medical speciality? :D
Ganesh
Sunday, September 14, 2008
My education system
Hey guys
My friend and I were discussing about the advantages and disadvantages about our education system (meritocracy and stuffs like that). Then he asked me to come up with my own system of allocation of university places and also to make sure no ethnic group is left out. So I came up with this idea. I am sending 1 copy to him so I send 1 copy to you all too... Sorry if u really think all these are crap ya...
ETHNICITY
Socio-economic group Malays Other Bumiputeras Chinese Indians Others
A
B
C
D
I am not sure whether this is the system being followed or not but I think this is a good idea.
The system is like this. For each student, he is assigned to a racial and socioeconomic group; thus he will belong to 1 of the boxes e.g. myself will be Indian A or B. Then for each box there will be a number of population. We just need to do 2 things
(a) allocate university places according to population size of each box
(b) our MAIN target is actually to work so that in the end of the day the mean marks (i.e. performance level) for each box will be the same.
The main advantages of this system is
(1) Can make sure no racial group is left out
(2) No socioeconomic group will be left out. What I mean by socio-economic group is how much the family is earning, whether rural or urban and any other factors that is involved which is not in the student’s hands to solve.
Importantly the difference in earning capacity of the family itself is not important. the opportunity for education exposure is important. e.g.
Family I: 2 children + earning capacity of RM200,000
Family II: 2 children + earning capacity of RM20,000
Family III: 2 children + earning capacity of RM2,000
Education opportunity for a child in family I and II will not be that different. However education opportunity in family II and III will be way much different.
So a child in family I and II can be classed under the same socioeconomic group. For family III it will be different.
(3) Each socioeconomic group performance can be watched easily. Each time if the government announce the mean marks for each group then we can study why a particular group is not doing well and find ways to help them. e.g. give monetary support or other stuff. If all the boxes reached the same marks then we can implement pure meritocracy.
Sorry if you think all these crap is just a waste of time. However it was fun to do. How will your system be?
My friend and I were discussing about the advantages and disadvantages about our education system (meritocracy and stuffs like that). Then he asked me to come up with my own system of allocation of university places and also to make sure no ethnic group is left out. So I came up with this idea. I am sending 1 copy to him so I send 1 copy to you all too... Sorry if u really think all these are crap ya...
ETHNICITY
Socio-economic group Malays Other Bumiputeras Chinese Indians Others
A
B
C
D
I am not sure whether this is the system being followed or not but I think this is a good idea.
The system is like this. For each student, he is assigned to a racial and socioeconomic group; thus he will belong to 1 of the boxes e.g. myself will be Indian A or B. Then for each box there will be a number of population. We just need to do 2 things
(a) allocate university places according to population size of each box
(b) our MAIN target is actually to work so that in the end of the day the mean marks (i.e. performance level) for each box will be the same.
The main advantages of this system is
(1) Can make sure no racial group is left out
(2) No socioeconomic group will be left out. What I mean by socio-economic group is how much the family is earning, whether rural or urban and any other factors that is involved which is not in the student’s hands to solve.
Importantly the difference in earning capacity of the family itself is not important. the opportunity for education exposure is important. e.g.
Family I: 2 children + earning capacity of RM200,000
Family II: 2 children + earning capacity of RM20,000
Family III: 2 children + earning capacity of RM2,000
Education opportunity for a child in family I and II will not be that different. However education opportunity in family II and III will be way much different.
So a child in family I and II can be classed under the same socioeconomic group. For family III it will be different.
(3) Each socioeconomic group performance can be watched easily. Each time if the government announce the mean marks for each group then we can study why a particular group is not doing well and find ways to help them. e.g. give monetary support or other stuff. If all the boxes reached the same marks then we can implement pure meritocracy.
Sorry if you think all these crap is just a waste of time. However it was fun to do. How will your system be?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Psychiatric Patient in Train Station Experience
This is a real experience...
I was in the train station at 7.35pm in Ivanhoe (my house) going to Heidelberg station(where my hospital is). I had to wait for my train for 10 minutes. So I just sat down on the bench.
Suddenly I saw this man, a middle aged Caucasian male with unkept grey hair neck level, not shaven, moderate built, with shabby clothes sat down beside me on my right hand side.
He then looked at me and said a word. I didn't understand the word. So I said "I'm sorry. I don't understand what you were trying to say" And then he stared at me and after a long pause said in a frustrated tone "Tell me one good reason why you don't understand what I was trying to say" I was a little afraid and excited at the same time. I did smell alcohol from his breath however I don't think he was drunk. So this is how our conversation went
Me: I'm sorry. English is not my native language. So I didn't catch your word.
That Man: That can be a yes/no question.
Me: I'm sorry. What do you mean?
That Man: (Again frustrated) English is not your native language. what is your native language?
Me: It's an Indian language called Tamil
That Man: Tamil?
I nodded.
That Man: It's a yes/no question.
I looked at him
That Man: A lot of people in the world are condemned.
Me: What do you mean by condemned?
That Man: A lot of ppl being killed.
Me: What do you mean by being killed?
That Man: Just look at your left. (In a frustrated tone)
I didn't want to take my eyes of him actually. Usually I would not take my eyes off pretty girls as well, e.g. Yee Leng, however this one is completely different. I was afraid he would do something as his hand was always in his bag. I was afraid he had some knife or something. I looked slowly to my left. And then I sensed his hand moved. I immediately looked at him. From this point I can't remember what we talked about because the percentage of fear increased and percentage of excitement decreased.
I noticed 5 mins left for the train to come. I kept the conversation going. I can't remember what I said but there is few stuffs I remember him saying
"That can be a yes/no question"
"SHUT UP!!! JUST LISTEN"
The next time I looked, 2 minutes left for the train to come. Then the train came. I said "Sorry sir, the train has arrived. I have to go now" He said "SHUT UP!!! Just sit down" Then I was afraid. I stood up and said "I'm sorry sir. I need to go now"
He just stared at me angrily. I slowly moved and immediately went inside the train. Thank goodness he didn't follow me. And the I noticed from the train he looked extremely depressed.
As soon as I reached the Heidelberg station, I informed the Connex train officer in Heidelberg station. He contacted his colleague. And then he told me "He look suspicious, however we can't do anything. We can only intervene if he looked like he is going to harm himself or someone else. Moreover my colleague said he is a regular" All my excitement went down a little bit. I thought maybe he was admitted to hospital at least I can hear his case discussion during the ward round since I am attached to the Acute Psychiatric Unit (APU) in my hospital.
My interesting experience.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Malaysian Christians (clearer explaination)
Actually I think I wasn’t clear in what I was trying to say. I’ll try to illustrate my point. Honestly I believe although a minority but a significant number of Malaysian Christians do not have true respect for my religious belief. I’ll give an example by what I meant by true respect.
I applied to a Christian based hospital in Herbertpur, India. The application form at 1 part, they required me to fill up about my religious belief. At 1 point they asked me to describe my relationship with Jesus. I felt that question was quiet awkward. I just wrote “I respect all religion.”
Then they sent me 2 mails. The 1st mail said that they accepted me and they were so nice and providing all kind of information. It was really exciting. When I read the 2nd mail I was so annoyed. The whole mail is about my religious view. They stated that actually they prefer Christian students but in this case they make exception; however they require me to attend all their prayers’ meeting in the morning and also go for their discussion session about Bible or something. I was so shocked. They even wrote “However we don’t expect you to lead any of the discussion”. I was so annoyed. I wrote to them back saying that I wasn’t willing to attend their prayers and I don’t think they respected my religious belief. They wrote to me back that they “respected” my religious belief s but attending the prayers meeting is a must. In the end of the day, I was rejected for 2 simple reasons:
(1) I am not a Christian
(2) I didn’t want to attend their religious meeting
In 1 way this is a type of discrimination. 1 of my friend (also happened to be a Malaysian Christian) said “Of course lah. It’s a Christian based hospital what?” If I use the same logic, what we will say if any of us were required to attend the Muslim’s prayers while we were in a camp or something. They are the majority what? If I take it to a higher degree, if a Hindu Nationalist party (BJP) in India won the election and they ban Christian Hospitals, is that fair?
In my point of view, that organization’s “respect” for other religious belief is just word deep. I didn’t ask my cousin to write in their newspapers because what ever said and done they are doing charity. Even if they are doing it to promote Christianity I don’t care. At least they are doing it.
Similarly I think although it is a minority, a significant number of you don’t have the true respect for my religious beliefs. To give a medical example, we are giving chemotherapy for breast cancer. However only 3/10 women benefit from it. We can’t predict which 3. So we give to everyone. Similarly, out of 10 of you 1 or 2 will be like that. And there is no way I can predict which 1 or 2 of you. So I generalized it to everyone.
This was what I think I was trying to say. Sorry if I have offended anyone. However I really hope you all can at least give a thought about what I have said.
Ganesh
I applied to a Christian based hospital in Herbertpur, India. The application form at 1 part, they required me to fill up about my religious belief. At 1 point they asked me to describe my relationship with Jesus. I felt that question was quiet awkward. I just wrote “I respect all religion.”
Then they sent me 2 mails. The 1st mail said that they accepted me and they were so nice and providing all kind of information. It was really exciting. When I read the 2nd mail I was so annoyed. The whole mail is about my religious view. They stated that actually they prefer Christian students but in this case they make exception; however they require me to attend all their prayers’ meeting in the morning and also go for their discussion session about Bible or something. I was so shocked. They even wrote “However we don’t expect you to lead any of the discussion”. I was so annoyed. I wrote to them back saying that I wasn’t willing to attend their prayers and I don’t think they respected my religious belief. They wrote to me back that they “respected” my religious belief s but attending the prayers meeting is a must. In the end of the day, I was rejected for 2 simple reasons:
(1) I am not a Christian
(2) I didn’t want to attend their religious meeting
In 1 way this is a type of discrimination. 1 of my friend (also happened to be a Malaysian Christian) said “Of course lah. It’s a Christian based hospital what?” If I use the same logic, what we will say if any of us were required to attend the Muslim’s prayers while we were in a camp or something. They are the majority what? If I take it to a higher degree, if a Hindu Nationalist party (BJP) in India won the election and they ban Christian Hospitals, is that fair?
In my point of view, that organization’s “respect” for other religious belief is just word deep. I didn’t ask my cousin to write in their newspapers because what ever said and done they are doing charity. Even if they are doing it to promote Christianity I don’t care. At least they are doing it.
Similarly I think although it is a minority, a significant number of you don’t have the true respect for my religious beliefs. To give a medical example, we are giving chemotherapy for breast cancer. However only 3/10 women benefit from it. We can’t predict which 3. So we give to everyone. Similarly, out of 10 of you 1 or 2 will be like that. And there is no way I can predict which 1 or 2 of you. So I generalized it to everyone.
This was what I think I was trying to say. Sorry if I have offended anyone. However I really hope you all can at least give a thought about what I have said.
Ganesh
Friday, August 15, 2008
Malaysian Christians
Hey guys,
I am writing this because I don’t feel quite right for me to make assumptions about a particular group of people without feedback. Not only that, I do talk about all these behind Malaysian Christian’s back.
I am going to write about my opinion regarding a very sensitive issue. The previous time I replied about JPA scholars I realized I used the wrong words and I didn’t mean certain things I wrote there. So now I will try to be careful with my words.
I am not a staunch Hindu. If you asked my other Hindu friends, they can tell you this. I think Christians whether Malaysians or from other countries; in general I think they are a very friendly group, helpful and a very nice group in general. I think it is most probably because Christians socialize with one another when comes to their religion which I think is a good thing. However I think I have lost respect to Malaysian Christians’ religious opinion or belief (although I believe I have genuine respect to Christianity). 1 perfect example:
I was in International House and I went to the dining hall to have my Sunday’s brunch. At that time Dexter (a Singaporean) told me “hey, Chun Peng said Hinduism is a cult”. If it was a non-Chrisitian from Malaysia or a Christian from another country; I would have asked for clarification. However my reaction was “So what? What else you can expect from a Malaysian Christian?” Chun Peng immediately clarified that he DIDN’T say that and explained what he was trying to say. Again, I wasn’t listening. I just wasn’t interested what a Malaysian Christian think about Hinduism.
Generally, whenever Malaysian Christians talk about Jesus or Bible or something, I immediately will shut my ears and mouth. I wouldn’t really care what they are saying. I think I am doing this because of a few assumptions I made and I will give stories as examples why I made those assumptions.
ASSUMPTION 1: I think generally Malaysian Christians have superiority complex over their own religion.
Reason:
(a) I told a girl “Actually some of the non-Christians are not comfortable when Christians are trying to preach about Christianity” Her response was “Well, Ganesh, if your friend has a slice of cake and you have a much better slice of cake, wouldn’t you share with your friend” I was left speechless after this comment. With the same girl I told “My sister is involved with an inter-faith group called Sai Baba” Her response was “Ganesh, make sure your sister is not involved in a cult group”
(b) Especially in INTEC, whenever I said something what Hindus believe, the Christians in my class laugh at me. Of course I don’t know whether they were laughing because it was me or because they think what I believed was ridiculous. However I think it is a normal response to get offended.
(c) There are more examples but these are the most striking ones. I didn’t make assumption after talking to that girl alone.
ASSUMPTION 2 (OR MORE OF REASON 2): Malaysian Christians always trying to convert people
(a) Actually I feel uncomfortable whenever I am offered information about Christianity when I didn’t ask. And even if I ask, that doesn’t mean I am interested. Sometimes I just want to know about it. For an example, when I asked Chun Peng about his church activity, he gave an extremely decent explanation about his church activities and how it had helped him; he DIDN’T ask me to join in. I liked that. In my opinion, if I am interested I would express it. Personally I don’t think it is right to ask a person to join your religious activity if he or she doesn’t express the interest. However I haven’t met many people like Chun Peng.
(b) This is my friend’s experience. He is not from a very well to do family. When he was 13 or 14, some Christians had helped him a lot. However they told him “If you want to experience the full benefit of life, you have to join Christianity” I think that was ridiculous. It is totally wrong to tell that to such a young person like him. In this sense, I like the Sai Baba group (in Kuching) They will come, they will help and they will leave. They won’t utter a word about their beliefs unless if you ask them.
Before I made these assumptions, I used to get annoyed and offended with Malaysian Christians’ comments. After I made these assumptions, I never ever get annoyed because I will just shut my ears. Although not all Christians I met offended me however I generalized to all Malaysian Christians because initially I was shocked with certain people whom I expected to respect my religion, gave shocking comments that had offended me. So I will never know who will say what. So I generalized it to everyone.
I have never experienced all these, with the Muslims or Aussie or Singaporean or any other Christians from other country. I feel very comfortable when they talk about their religion because I know they are giving me information rather than trying to recruit people. I think they respect my religion well.
I think many non-Christians experienced what I have experienced maybe to a lesser extend. In fact another example,
This was when we were waiting for our OSCEs in the auditorium. My friend wanted to meet his friend. However his friend was in a prayers meeting. So out of respect my friend just stood there. Right after that another person asked him “Why you are standing there? You think if we have prayers they will come and stand with us?”
In short, I think I made these assumptions as a coping mechanism. Otherwise I will have unpleasant arguments.
I really hope I didn’t offend any Christians. If I did, I am extremely sorry. I just felt bad talking about these behind you guys rather than being frank. If I have offended any of you I am sorry.
Ganesh
ps: the stories I gave are examples. I might have got them wrong but I didn’t create these stories. Some of the stories here might involve some of you and sometimes you might be mistaken that it involves you. Sorry for any confusion caused.
I am writing this because I don’t feel quite right for me to make assumptions about a particular group of people without feedback. Not only that, I do talk about all these behind Malaysian Christian’s back.
I am going to write about my opinion regarding a very sensitive issue. The previous time I replied about JPA scholars I realized I used the wrong words and I didn’t mean certain things I wrote there. So now I will try to be careful with my words.
I am not a staunch Hindu. If you asked my other Hindu friends, they can tell you this. I think Christians whether Malaysians or from other countries; in general I think they are a very friendly group, helpful and a very nice group in general. I think it is most probably because Christians socialize with one another when comes to their religion which I think is a good thing. However I think I have lost respect to Malaysian Christians’ religious opinion or belief (although I believe I have genuine respect to Christianity). 1 perfect example:
I was in International House and I went to the dining hall to have my Sunday’s brunch. At that time Dexter (a Singaporean) told me “hey, Chun Peng said Hinduism is a cult”. If it was a non-Chrisitian from Malaysia or a Christian from another country; I would have asked for clarification. However my reaction was “So what? What else you can expect from a Malaysian Christian?” Chun Peng immediately clarified that he DIDN’T say that and explained what he was trying to say. Again, I wasn’t listening. I just wasn’t interested what a Malaysian Christian think about Hinduism.
Generally, whenever Malaysian Christians talk about Jesus or Bible or something, I immediately will shut my ears and mouth. I wouldn’t really care what they are saying. I think I am doing this because of a few assumptions I made and I will give stories as examples why I made those assumptions.
ASSUMPTION 1: I think generally Malaysian Christians have superiority complex over their own religion.
Reason:
(a) I told a girl “Actually some of the non-Christians are not comfortable when Christians are trying to preach about Christianity” Her response was “Well, Ganesh, if your friend has a slice of cake and you have a much better slice of cake, wouldn’t you share with your friend” I was left speechless after this comment. With the same girl I told “My sister is involved with an inter-faith group called Sai Baba” Her response was “Ganesh, make sure your sister is not involved in a cult group”
(b) Especially in INTEC, whenever I said something what Hindus believe, the Christians in my class laugh at me. Of course I don’t know whether they were laughing because it was me or because they think what I believed was ridiculous. However I think it is a normal response to get offended.
(c) There are more examples but these are the most striking ones. I didn’t make assumption after talking to that girl alone.
ASSUMPTION 2 (OR MORE OF REASON 2): Malaysian Christians always trying to convert people
(a) Actually I feel uncomfortable whenever I am offered information about Christianity when I didn’t ask. And even if I ask, that doesn’t mean I am interested. Sometimes I just want to know about it. For an example, when I asked Chun Peng about his church activity, he gave an extremely decent explanation about his church activities and how it had helped him; he DIDN’T ask me to join in. I liked that. In my opinion, if I am interested I would express it. Personally I don’t think it is right to ask a person to join your religious activity if he or she doesn’t express the interest. However I haven’t met many people like Chun Peng.
(b) This is my friend’s experience. He is not from a very well to do family. When he was 13 or 14, some Christians had helped him a lot. However they told him “If you want to experience the full benefit of life, you have to join Christianity” I think that was ridiculous. It is totally wrong to tell that to such a young person like him. In this sense, I like the Sai Baba group (in Kuching) They will come, they will help and they will leave. They won’t utter a word about their beliefs unless if you ask them.
Before I made these assumptions, I used to get annoyed and offended with Malaysian Christians’ comments. After I made these assumptions, I never ever get annoyed because I will just shut my ears. Although not all Christians I met offended me however I generalized to all Malaysian Christians because initially I was shocked with certain people whom I expected to respect my religion, gave shocking comments that had offended me. So I will never know who will say what. So I generalized it to everyone.
I have never experienced all these, with the Muslims or Aussie or Singaporean or any other Christians from other country. I feel very comfortable when they talk about their religion because I know they are giving me information rather than trying to recruit people. I think they respect my religion well.
I think many non-Christians experienced what I have experienced maybe to a lesser extend. In fact another example,
This was when we were waiting for our OSCEs in the auditorium. My friend wanted to meet his friend. However his friend was in a prayers meeting. So out of respect my friend just stood there. Right after that another person asked him “Why you are standing there? You think if we have prayers they will come and stand with us?”
In short, I think I made these assumptions as a coping mechanism. Otherwise I will have unpleasant arguments.
I really hope I didn’t offend any Christians. If I did, I am extremely sorry. I just felt bad talking about these behind you guys rather than being frank. If I have offended any of you I am sorry.
Ganesh
ps: the stories I gave are examples. I might have got them wrong but I didn’t create these stories. Some of the stories here might involve some of you and sometimes you might be mistaken that it involves you. Sorry for any confusion caused.
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